Are you a possessive and jealous person in your love life? You are not alone but it is a really big problem if you are. Jealousy and possessiveness is a sure fire way to destroy any relationship. The message you are giving to your partner is that you do not trust them and this is a really bad thing to say to someone.

Take this very simple test: It’s Christmas and your partner is going out on their office party. It’s going to finish really late and they’ll be drinking with people they work with. What is your reaction to this?

a) You tell your partner that you will pick them up and make sure that they either come home or get home safely, so you stay in all night, stay sober and go and pick them up? b) Tell them to have a great time and say that you’ll catch up on the gossip later? c) Arrange to meet up with your friends for a night out and enjoy yourself?

If your reaction is to drive to their house and check that they are ill then this is certainly showing signs of being over possessive. Your immediate thought is that of not trusting what they are saying to you is true, and that they must be doing something else, maybe seeing an ex or going out with someone else. So why are you reacting in this way? Well most insecure people have at some point in their lives had some kind of emotional trauma. This can go way back to their earliest childhood memories but something will have happened that hurt, and that caused them to distrust someone that they loved.

If you are over possessive in your relationships then try and take a minute to your self. Now think way back to your earliest thoughts and relationships and work your way forward to present day. Is there a blip somewhere along the way that makes you feel upset or bad? It can be something very small that you wouldn’t believe could be a problem. The chances are that you can identify what has caused your insecurity and that you can work with this to help stop your possessive reactions.

A great way to explore your inner thoughts is through simple a self hypnosis technique. Take time out for yourself and work out why you are jealous and possessive in your relationships.